Thanks and no thanks

Just want to say “thanks!” to all you moms out there that are keeping it real and say “no thanks” to you moms who are in denial.

Thanks to all of you who really know what motherhood is about and share your support.

No thanks to all of you who [think they] have the “perfect” child and don’t understand a thing all other real mothers experience.

Thanks to all of you who say, “it’s definitely an adjustment, not easy, and well worth it.”

No thanks to all of you who say, “it’s totally natural, just rely on your instincts and don’t bother with books.”

Thanks to all of you who tell the truth and give warnings like, “diapers don’t catch it all.”

No thanks to all of you who say, “I  never had that problem.”

Thanks to all of you who put their arm around me and say, “it’ll get better. Trust me.”

No thanks to all of you who are too busy patting your own back to give me a hug.

Thanks to all of you who share your stories of poop, pee, puke, and piles of laundry.

No thanks to all of you who say, “I don’t need sleep. I can do it all. What’s your problem?”

Thanks to all of you who say, “it’s hard work and half the time you don’t know what you’re doing.”

No thanks to all of you who say, “pshhh, whatever. Just sit them in front of the TV.”

Thanks to all of you who say, “you need a break. Take some time for yourself.”

No thanks to all of those who say, “wow, that’s selfish.”

Thanks to all of you who show understanding that nursing is not as simple as you would think.

No thanks to you all of you who say, “how hard can it be?”

Thanks to all those wonderful women who have truly stepped up to the plate to be great moms and a wonderful example to me, and I’m sure, many others!

No thanks to…well, you get the point.

9 thoughts to “Thanks and no thanks”

  1. so is this your rant post? I’m pretty sure I’m not the no thanks person and if I am…I don’t know what I was thinking when I said whatever I said. Sometimes don’t I wish I could sit my kid in front of the tv but he won’t have it. Sorry to tell you that it gets much much much better….I’d say 4-12 months is good and then you move to the terrible twos which aren’t that terrible but certainly aren’t as cute as the immobile less than ones. GOod luck!

  2. hmm- i’m worried. i hope i didn’t say anything either that was stuck up like that- it would horrify me because this post is exactly how i feel everyday of my life- even now that macy is 18 months. the thing that made me feel the worst in the whole world was when those you-know-what moms say those kinds of things about how they “love being a mother” after i have shared some kind of personal issue i am having with motherhood hoping for some kind words and being able to relate. i really feel like that was one of the hardest things to adjust to in being a mom is being freaking (or another word sometimes- that’s how bad it is) judged all the freaking time. anyways, i guess now i’m ranting…i really hope you always feel like i give it to you straight- i try to- though i guess sometimes i try to temper it so you don’t get too depressed- not everyone thinks it’s as bad as i do…

  3. Not quite sure how to take your latest ranting or if I’m one of the thanks or no thanks people you are ranting about. Sorry if you have been offended by anything I have said or not said about raising children. When I say that my kid did or didn’t do this or that, I’m being very honest with you. I’m not saying stuff to make myself seem like a better mom at all. I have had several children and after a few, you just settle down a bit. It is what it is. I think when we are new moms, we were all very nervous and some of us learn to be a great faker of being able to do it all for fear of being judged like Emily said. Trust me when I say, I had my meltdowns all the time. 6 kids under 8 was NOT a picnic a lot of the times but some times it was so rewarding that you forgot how hard it was and now I really don’t remember a lot of the bad stuff. I learned to take things one day at a time or even one hour at a time because things can change in an instant when you have kids. I sure hope that I was not one of the “moms” that hasn’t seemed like I supported you. Sorry if I was. X X X (That’s some distance hugs!)

  4. Hope I’m one of the “Thanks” mom’s as well! Haha….you’ve got us all thinking….have I ever said something like that? ;-) Leave it to you to get all this out there though….way to go! Man….I’ve said no thanks before to EVERY one of those comments you’ve talked about…seriously….not what a struggling new mom wants to hear!! Hope things will soon get easier and I know you’re so strong so it’ll all work out! I’m still a new mom myself…still learning TONS each day! I’ll try to give you any advice/tips I’m aware of as I live through it…and I hope you’ll do the same for me! You’re in our prayers…..and so is that sweet little Katelyn ;-) We love her. And thanks for getting all this out there!! You say the things we’re all too afraid to say ourselves!

  5. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I did not put my crying child in his swing and walk away just to finish a two minute phone call in peace and quiet yesterday. Motherhood is easy and delightful ALWAYS and my natural instincts have NEVER led me astray.

  6. Ok so I am guessing I am one of those all of the above moms. I’ve probably said things on the “thanks” and “No thanks” list. Sorry! Although since I don’t talk to you all that often I’m guessing I really haven’t said much. I attribute some of the “no thanks” items to denial. You seriously forget some things. There are many reasons why there are 4 1/2 years between my youngest. Two in 18 months was hard and my ability to cope was marginal at best. I had to block a lot of it out. And now I have my 4 year old telling me I need to go help the baby fall asleep because I’m just letting her cry. Just be grateful you aren’t getting parenting advice from a 4 yaer old!!

  7. Ditto to Tara! I felt like that all the time. I think I have blocked out a lot from my childrearing past, too. I must have been out of my mind to have so many so close. Naive and totally stupid!!! It truly was a blur in all sense of the word. But it’s more fun to remember the good anyway. If you don’t, then why would you have any more kids? Well, Tara it could be worse…try getting parented by a 6 year old who’s going on 16 because she is being raised all around adults and is spoiled rotten by her daddy. Yeah I’m the big meanie! Who’s kidding?!

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