Utah Food Reviews…

….is no more.

Perhaps you have already noticed. Perhaps you never even noticed that we did that site in the first place. We just got tired of going to new places that sucked. However, apparently we couldn’t help but go to one more crappy place.

Behold, The Mayan.


Are you a fan? Sorry to burst your bubble if you are but we are definitely not. Let’s review.

We went on a Friday evening around 5:30pm and there was no wait. That was a plus (mostly because if we had to wait we would have left hating the place even more–if that is possible).  However, the hostess assured us that was very unusual so don’t get your hopes up to get so….lucky (if you can say that).

They make me, Mrs. 7 and a half months pregnant, hike up to the third floor to be seated when the place was empty. OK, yes she asked if that was OK and we said fine but sorry, you just don’t do that. Then they find the only people on the entire floor and sit us right next to them. Uh, awkward a bit, don’t you think?

Then we look over the menu.  Huh. My menu is different than Devin’s. O….k….get your act together, please. We order and start munching on some chips and salsa. Not a fan. The chips are not the real restaurant style that pretty much every Mexican place has.  You know the kind….fresh, hot, and crispy.  Nope, these are more of the “we opened a fresh bag just for you” kind. 

Anyway, moving on. I ordered a “bean and cheese burrito.”  Please take note of the order of the ingredients. I ordered it “smothered” for an extra $2.50 thinking it would be like the less expensive Mexican grills that put sauce and cheese on it then do a quick bake until it is bubbling with goodness.

Behold, this is what I received.


A burrito which was filled with about 80% cheese and 20% beans (so cheese and bean?). The beans were bland and practically tasteless.  The $2.50 went towards a cup of nasty puke-like sauce which was then sprinkled  dusted with a parmesan-like cheese. The cheese on the inside was clearly something that was not shredded then sprinkled or otherwise incorporated with the beans but it was like they buttered a block of cheese with beans and put it in a tortilla. I took about three bites and decided that it wasn’t worth the calories to stomach it.

Devin ordered a chicken burrito which seemed to be slightly better in that the proportions of the innards seemed to be ok.  But again, it was drenched in the puke sauce.

Devin and I usually don’t say anything about the food unless they get the order wrong. HOWEVER, you would think that the server would say something seeing that only a few bites were taken and I didn’t want a to-go box. Nope, he just kept doing his thang.

In addition, the entertainment was lousy. The “divers” were tacky and now they do this little drum beating parade (to recorded music of course, not actually) and wear these tacky loin cloths. Not to mention that their diving skills could use….some work. Last I checked a dive and a belly flop were not supposed to make the same sound and amount of splash.  But what do I know.  I’m not a trained diver.

So needless to say, we couldn’t get out of there fast enough.  No really….we couldn’t.  There seems to be limited signs letting you know how to get out of that place.

All we could say when we left was, “well, at least now we know.” Now we know that we are definitely not missing anything and we are glad that we didn’t make a special trip down there for a special occasion or when we were paying a baby sitter. 

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