It wasn’t long after I had the epidural that my entire body started to shake. I was a little cold in the labor room but when they brought me into the OR I was definitely freezing. I have yet figure out why they keep OR rooms so cold. I was only somewhat surprised at how much shaking I was doing as a result of the anesthesia. I had had that type of reaction before when I had my wisdom teeth removed but only afterworlds.
They transferred me to the operating table and started to get things situated. I was hoping that I would be able to hold my baby after delivery when they were cleaning me up but there was no way with all the shaking I was doing. They have you spread your arms out on these boards to the side of you and then they put these straps across your hands. They don’t strap you down but the straps were helpful for me so I could somewhat stabilize myself from all the shaking. Then they put an oxygen mask on me and I saw the famous blue sheet go up in front of me. All of the sudden reality set in of what was going to happen and I started to panic.
Devin tried he best to comfort me and assure me that everything would be ok. One of the main reasons why I was freaking out was because I didn’t expect to feel as much as I did. It didn’t hurt but it was definitely weird because it felt like they were trying to pull my belly button out. I remember that I kept telling Devin that I didn’t want to feel anything. Eventually, Devin and the anesthesiologist decided that they needed to give me a sedative to calm me down. Generally they don’t like to do that because it makes it so you don’t remember much. But honestly, I have a hard time recalling anything that happened that night, before or after the sedative.
Even though I was given a sedative there are still several things that I remember very vividly. One was the anesthesiologist asking me if I had ever had a panic attack before. That was the first point that I realized I was having one then.
The best moment was when they showed her to me right after they took her out. Several times my doctor told me to look straight up. Then they lowered the sheet and showed her to me. I remember seeing the umbilical cord but most of all I remember seeing her face and her eyes being wide open. After that I remember trying to look at her as they cleaned her up on the warming bed, Devin bringing her over and the anesthesiologist taking our picture. After that I don’t remember anything until I was in the recovery room and Devin and I started to discuss what we were going to name her.