Lately I’ve been addicted to reading
Cup of Jo during my down time. I enjoy the different perspectives she shares from guest writers and herself. Common topics are of the mothering type. She got me thinking about why I chose to become a mom.
Here is my experience in not so much of a nutshell:
As a child I loved babies. Cabbage Patch Kids were my toy of choice, probably for much longer than they should have been. (I still have most of them!) I remember holding many of my younger cousins when they were babies. While others were playing sardines, I was hanging out on the couch with the newest baby.
This wasn’t something that faded much as I aged. Is it weird to be jealous of your high school friends who were lucky enough to do that “parent for a week” project? You know, that one when you get to hold a life-like doll in your arms while taking a calculus exam?
Flash forward to my young adult years, I was destined to be a nursery leader as my first official calling in the real world.
Then, I got married. Three to five children was my idea of…I don’t know, a good time?
In all honesty, I was craving babies during the first year of married life. But Devin wisely talked me down from that ledge, several times. In hindsight, what was I thinking?! My back issues were boiling hot on the front burner and Devin and I were both naively in completely dead end “careers.” And that’s not to mention the years of school we had yet to secure under our belts.
So what’s in waiting? Sure, it’s definitely not for everyone. For us, I can’t even imagine what our children would be like had we jumped in earlier. The education. The life experiences. The…everything that can change you over four and a half years. At times it was a long, difficult wait. But the most difficult was the few months we waited when we decided to give it a go, as it were.
Early on in our trying, I realized something wasn’t right. Thanks to a conversation I had with a friend around a year prior, I knew the concept of BBT tracking. I took my concerns to a doctor who was surprised I was there without the old “try for a year” rule, until I showed him my logs. (Take that BYU doctors, ha!)
At that point, the outlook was good. However, I couldn’t help but second guess myself. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a mom. (!) This caused a certain panic in me that made me re-evaluate my plans on education and career on nearly a minute by minute basis. After all, there isn’t much you can do with a Family Life degree besides be a mom. And if I couldn’t be a mom, well sheesh…back to the drawing board.
As luck would have it, only two months of a common fertility treatment was required before we found we were expecting our baby Katelyn.
So back to the question, why did I choose to become a mom?
It just made sense. I didn’t feel an obligation nor a burning desire but it was just something I would do. Circle of life, maybe. Instincts, maybe. Just wasn’t something I questioned.
Fast forward to today, I still choose to be a mom. Not everyone with children actually chooses to be a mom. (Listen to this Dr. Laura call to understand what I mean.)
I enjoy it. I wouldn’t change it.
In the end, we just gotta hope that our knowledge paired with our love will be enough for these precious little ones.